The 2016 Chicago SantaCon is on for December 3rd!


If you’ll indulge me for a moment, I have some personal business to discus.  I’ve been to the Chicago SantaCon maybe 5 or 6 times over the past 10 years but this year I’m helping to promote the event.  So, if you live in the Chicagoland area and you enjoy Christmas, beer, dressing up like Santa Claus, having fun, walking around in the cold, caroling, beer, making merry and beer, you may want to check out this year’s SantaCon.  If you’re unfamiliar with the concept, Santa Con is basically a big Chrismasy bar crawl.  They happen all over the world but it seems like Chicago does one of the best ones.  It’s not as sloppy and stupid as the one in New York but it’s also not as tame as some of the Santa Cons that happen in other cities.  I think it’s just the right level of ridiculous.  The word is that some guy is running a second Santa Con in a different part of the city but ours is the real deal.  It’s the original Chicago Santa Con and it’s been around since 2005.

The 2016 schedule has just been released.  Here it is:

Saturday, December 3rd, 2016:

Noon to 1:00PM – Congress Plaza Hotel Bar.  520 S Michigan Ave, Chicago, IL.

1:00 to 1:15PM – Steps of the Art Institute for photos and caroling.

1:15 to 2:30PM – Beef and Brandy and The Bar Below.  127 S State Street.

2:30 to 3:30PM – Santa takeover at The Bean/Cloud Gate at Millennium Park

3:30 to 4:30PM – Bar Louie – River North.  333 N. Dearborn Street.

4:30 to 6:00PM – Adelines (Formerly Celtic Crossings). 751 North Clark Street.

6:00 to 8:00PM – Brehon Pub 731 N Wells St # 1

8:00 and beyond – General Shennanigas

If any VCN actually want to go this year, let me know and I’ll buy you a drink!

The Chicago 2016 Olympics only had one winner; ME.

The Rio Olympics will be over in three days.  Thank God.  I usually enjoy the games but this year is different.  That’s because this year the Olympics are in Brazil….and not Chicago.  Most folks probably don’t remember this but eight years ago Chicago put in a bid to host the 2016 Olympics and the city made it all the way to the Top 4.  I live in the Chicago area and I thought the bid was an amazing idea.  I guess things worked out for the best but I’m still disappointed that “we” didn’t get the games.  (Most of the grimey hipsters I knew were against the whole thing for typical, dumb hipster reasons like “all the decent bars are gonna be packed for two weeks, eight years from now, man!”)

Anyway, one day, way back in the fall of 2008, I was walking through the loop and I saw a billboard that said the Chicago Bid Committee was hosting a video contest.  To enter, people had to shoot videos that explained “Why Chicago” would be a great place for the 2016 games.  First prize was a trip for two to Vancouver to see the preparations (yes, just the preparations) for the 2010 Winter Olympics.  But second prize….second prize was $5,000 in video production gear.

At that point I had entered and won just one online video contest.  I thought it was a once-in-a-lifetime windfall and I didn’t realize that anyone else was running them.  I didn’t want to go to Vancouver but I sure as heck wanted to win five grand in camera gear.  So I set my sites on second prize.  There was just one problem; I didn’t own a video camera.  So I went to Walmart and bought a little handycam for $350.  I ran around town and got a bunch of footage and then I wrote some voice-over to match the footage.  Here’s my entry:

I can’t really remember what happened next but I think I made a Top 5 or Top 10.  Then there was a public vote phase that I tanked on purpose.  I told people to also vote for the video in first so that I could never pass them.  My plan worked and I wound up winning second prize.

Instead of $5,000 in production gear, the Bid Committee gave me a $5,000 gift certificate for  I used that sucker to buy myself the camera I had wanted for years, a DVX-100 plus a refurbished Mac and some lighting and audio gear.  And let me tell you, that gear changed my life.  I lost my job in early 2009 when the economy crashed but in those dark days I was able to make a nice living shooting goofy videos for online contests.  So even though Chicago’s 2016 Olympic bid was a bust, it really wound up saving my ass.

Oh and camera I bought from Walmart?  Yeah, I returned it after I shot my video.  So thanks Walmart I guess you and your liberal return policies saved my ass too.



Cheaters waste thousands of dollars trying to win a free wedding from Fiverr

Buying fake votes can get expensive!
Buying fake votes can get expensive!

In my last post I detailed the extreme cheating that was happening in Fiverr’s “Save the Date” contest.  At least 10 desperate couples tried to win a $25,000 dream wedding by ordering or manufacturing tens of thousands of fake votes.  The cheating reached obscene heights the night before the deadline as some entries were gaining dozens of votes every few minutes.  And these last-minute votes weren’t just coming in at 9 or 10PM.  They appeared all night long.  In fact, the cheating seemed to peak around two o’clock in the morning.  Maybe because 2AM Chicago time would work out to be about 1PM in Bangladesh.  Here’s what Fiverr’s Top 9 looked like about 12 hours before the voting ended.


Those numbers are absolutely ridiculous.  Obviously I don’t have access to Fiverr’s traffic and activity logs so I can’t say for sure that these folks were cheating.  But the judges must have realized that the voting had been compromised because in the end, those giant scores didn’t mean a damn thing.  The grand prize went to a couple who didn’t even have enough votes to make the top 10.  Here’s the winning entry.

Fiverr’s Grand Prize Winner.  Prize:  A $25,000 dream wedding:

I think it’s kind of funny that Fiverr let all these people waste so much time cheating.  But I do feel a little bad for them.  They didn’t just waste their time; they also wasted a ton of money.  To vote in this contest, you needed to have a facebook account.  Nobody outside of Southeast Asia has access to 8,000 facebook accounts so these people probably had to order votes from a Vote Farm.  And those type of votes aren’t cheap.  If they bought their votes from Fiverr, these people were spending about 20 cents a vote.  So 7,900 votes would cost $1,580!  But sellers on Fiver only do about 25 votes at a time.  So most of these people probably ordered their votes in bulk from a site like  Their prices are slightly less insane. (They’re listed at the top of this post).  That website sells 1,000 votes for $100.  So that works out to be ten cents per vote.

So let’s do the math:  The videos in Fiverr’s Top 9 had a total of 35,800 votes when I took my last screenshot (the night before the voting ended.)  I know that a few hundred more votes were added the next day but let’s just round up to 36,000 votes.  If they were paying ten cents per vote, these 9 couples spent at least $3,600!!!  Keep in mind that the rules of this contest said that votes would only count for a percentage of each video’s score.  I’m as competitive as the next guy but spending $800 to slightly improve your chances of winning a $25,000 grand prize is freaking bonkers.


Fiverr’s “Save the Date” contest turns into a ridiculous cheat-fest

savethedate1 is a “micro job” site where independent sellers post “gigs” that they’re willing to do for five bucks.  You can find all kinds of weird and helpful gigs on Fiverr but a lot of their sellers offer shady gigs that violate the terms of service for sites like Twitter, Yelp, Google, Facebook and Youtube.  Do you need more twitter followers?  Well for just $5 you can gain a thousand of them over night.  How about Facebook likes?  For five bucks your page will look popular in no time.  Wanna be a viral video star?  Thanks to Fiverr your new video will have 10,000 views by the end of the week.  Sure they’ll be fake but only you and some dude in Bangladesh will know that your view count isn’t legit.

Fiverr also happens to be a popular tool for cheaters.  If you go search Fiverr right now you’ll find plenty of gigs just like this one:


Basically Fiverr is a one-stop shop for anyone who wants to LOOK popular on the Internet.  So when I heard that Fiverr was running a video contest of their own, I knew it was gonna get ugly.  Today is the last day for entries in Fiverr’s “Save the Date” contest.  It was created to help promote Fiverr’s wedding-related services.  To enter, couples had to share their personal stories and explain what they would do with the $25,000 grand prize.  The rules for the contest state that the winners will be….

“the wedding couple that received the combination of the highest number of votes via the campaign landing page, as well as votes by a panel of internal Fiverr judges and campaign partners.”

Do you see the problem here?  The rules don’t say how important the votes will be.  Will votes count for 5% of an entry’s score?  50%?  75%???  Nobody knows.  So I guess a lot of contestants decided to play it safe and try and get as many votes as possible.  The huge prize, the vague rules and the fact that Fiverr literally sells fake votes guaranteed that the contest would turn into a massive cheat-fest.  With just a few hours left to go before the vote deadline, here are the videos that are in the top nine.

The couple in first place has 7,900 votes!!  That’s awesome.  I’ve seen some really brazen acts of cheating before but I am genuinely impressed by these folks.  It takes serious balls to say screw it, I’m just gonna order myself 6,000 votes.  At this point, I don’t even blame these people for cheating.  The judges are the ones who let this contest get out of control.  No sane human being could believe that a non-famous couple could get thousands and thousands of people to vote for their entry.  Fiverr should have shut down the voting or disqualified people weeks ago.  But they just let the cheating go on and on and on.  So can you really blame these folks for trying to keep up?  To be totally honest with you, if I was in this contest I’d probably order a few hundred votes.  It’s obvious that the judges don’t care so it’s almost like people have to cheat just to have a shot at winning.

Now obviously I don’t have any hard proof that these contestants are buying fake votes.  But I have noticed some pretty hilarious clues.  Most of the people in the top 10 have realized that 4,000 votes will look suspicious if their video only has 500 views.  So when they ordered their votes, they also ordered a fat stack of youtube views.  But if you know where to look, youtube will show you a video’s view history.  So check out this entry that has 1,300 votes and over 7,000 views.


This video managed to get about 7,000 in one day.  That’s amazing!  And what’s even more amazing is that it’s been getting zero views a day ever since.  What an incredibly mysterious phenomenon.  I wonder what could have caused this weird, random spike in views?

I hope it doesn’t sound like I’m trying to bust anyone here because I’m really not.  Like I said, I can’t exactly blame people for cheating in a contest that’s run by a website that sells fake votes.  In fact, I actually feel sorry for most of these people.  Fake votes are freaking expensive!  If you’re paying $5 for 50 votes, you’d have to spend $600 to get 6,000 votes.  And 6,000 votes won’t even get you in the top 3!  It’s a real shame that Fiverr is letting so many people waste so much time and money on this contest.  I have a feeling that when all is said and done, the judges are just going to ignore the vote counts and pick the video they like best.  But I guess we’ll know how things shake out soon enough.  The rules say that the winners will be announced on July 19th.  So check back here next week to learn the final results.

Post Script: It looks like a ton of fake votes were added while I wrote this post.  The top 3 videos gained a total of 1,000 votes since I took my original screen shot 2 hours ago.  By the way, I’m writing this at 2AM.  Yes, I’m a weirdo but I like to write late at night.  And I guess a lot of “people” like to VOTE at 2AM so maybe I’m not so weird after all.

@Midnight surreptitiously changed the entry that won their #HowIGetAround video contest

@Midnight’s #HowIGetAround winner checks out her new Jag.

@Midnight is one of Comedy Central’s biggest hits.  It does incredibly well for a show that starts at 11:59:59PM.  So it’s not all that surprising that @Midnight’s “How I Get Around” contest wound up being a huge success.  Back in May, host Chris Hardwick announced that one lucky viewer would win a brand new Jaguar XE plus enough cash to cover the taxes on the car.  To enter, participants had to post a photo or video to Twitter, Instagram or Vine that showed how they currently got around and use the hashtag #HowIGetAroundContest.

After the deadline passed I searched Twitter, Vine and Instagram for posts that included the relevant hashtag.  I was amazed by how many entries came up.  My plan was to look at them all but I gave up after about 200 submissions.  With hundreds of entries spread over three social networks, I figured judging this contest would be a nightmare.  But in the end, the producers were able to settle on a winner.  On May 27th, Chris Hardwick gave a brand new Jaguar to a a young woman who entered using the twitter handle @Asheriee_.

@Asheriee_ was brought up on stage and Hardwick talked to her for a while.  But for some reason, they didn’t show her entry until the commercial break.  And when they did show it, it was framed by a bizarre graphic:

Screnshot from the 5/27/16 episode of @Midnight

To see exactly what Comedy Central aired that night, follow this link and skip ahead to the 19:30 mark.  For now, I’ll summarize the version of @Asheriee_’s entry that aired during the show: @Asheriee_ and her brother play rock-paper-scissors to determine who gets to use the family car and who gets to use the family bicycle.  @Asheriee wins and she picks the bike because the car is a piece of junk that smells moldy.  Cut to the brother as he gets in the car and puts on a face mask.  The end.

It felt like a pretty complete entry so the “see the entire winning video” graphic was a big red flag.  The rules said that entries were only supposed to be 30 seconds long.  The version that aired on @Midnight was about 18 seconds long.  Why would the producers bother cutting 12 seconds from the video?  I mean, this entry was good enough to win almost $50,000 in prizes.  So why not show us the whole thing?  Hundreds of people entered this contest.  Didn’t they deserve to see the actual video that beat them?

I jumped on twitter and discovered that @Midnight hadn’t even posted the full entry yet.  But I did find @Asheriee_’s original submission:

So the missing 12 seconds just happened to include a very un-funny joke about gun violence.  (I live in the south suburbs of Chicago and unfortunately around here “They Shootin’!” is a common joke-response to fireworks or other loud popping noises.)  The missing joke presented me with a mystery; did Comedy Central cut it for time or did they intentionally remove the joke because it was offensive?

Believe it or not, I actually figured out the answer.  It looks like the joke was intentionally censored.  When @Midnight finally posted the winning entry to Twitter, the missing 12 seconds were back.  But this time something else was missing….

The bang, bang, bang of the car door was still there but an editor removed the line “They shootin!”  In fact, the line wasn’t just removed; it was carefully covered with audio from a different part of the video.  So an editor cut the line and then selected, copied and pasted a section of background noise to fill in the hole.

I’ve been running this website for 7 years now and I’ve never seen anything like this before.  The judges in this contest picked a video that included a joke about gun violence and then multiple people worked together to sanitize that entry for public consumption.  And to make things worse, the producers went out of their way to hide this act of censorship.  If  @Asheriee_ had deleted her original entry, no one would have seen the “real” video that won one of the year’s biggest video contests.

I can understand why the producers (and presumably the sponsors) wanted to remove the “They Shootin!” joke.  Even though the this episode aired a few weeks before the tragedy in Orlando, it was still offensive and stupid.  It mocks gun violence, it mocks fears of gun violence and it perpetuates negative stereotypes about African Americans and African American neighborhoods.  What I don’t understand is why the judges would pick an entry that needed to be censored.  Like I said, hundreds of people entered this contest.  A lot of contestants broke the rules by including copyrighted music or images but there were easily 50 decent, eligible submissions that could have won.  So why did the judges pick a video that they couldn’t even air on TV?  Unfortunately that question is rhetorical because I’ve yet to figure out how or why this particular video was selected as the winner.